Tammy came down Saturday afternoon, and Narbey came by Sunday morning. I sat in the back seat, with Ebony’s head in my lap as we made our way to the vet. I don’t think I’ll ever forget petting her head, or seeing dido sitting on her, or the way.

I thought I was ready for this. It’d been so long in coming.

But she’d been with me for over twelve years, and she as much a part of the family as anyone. And, apparently, there’s no way to be “ready” to watch a family member die. Twyla’s last day seems only weeks ago.

I packed up and threw away her bed after we got home: tinky, old, and taking up most of the living room floor…

I had brought Dido to the vet with us in the hope that maybe, some little part of him would have an inkling of why she was gone, but when we were leaving … I don’t think he knew. I think he thought she’d just laid down. But since then I’ve seen him laying in the spot she spent so much time in on the carpet, and laying in front of her food dish.

Maybe I’m looking for signs that aren’t really there, but he seems more somber tonight. He’s keeping more to himself than usual. And, the house feels so quiet.

It’s the quiet that’s really  getting to me. It’s almost uncomfortable. And my rational mind doesn’t understand. The only sounds ebony made were that of her breathing. I think it’s the fact that the head, that’s been by my feet every  evening for at least the last six months is no longer there. There’s just an empty space on the carpet where her bed used to be.

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The photo this was drawn from was taken this morning. I wanted to try and get a good pic of her before she was gone. She’s always been so hard to photograph. I don’t know if I captured it. It hurt for her to move, but there was still so much life in her eyes.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 15th, 2008 at 12:00 am and is filed under Comic. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.